I am living my perfect life. I have become everything that I so passionately wanted to become when I was eight years old. It is only now, laying beside my parents fireplace, curled around my dog, that I see it so clearly.
I am everything that I dreamed I might be. I am becoming this blooming mystery even to myself.
It makes me giggle.
I makes me laugh out-loud.
Last night I stood beneath the stars and twirled around trying to see them all at once. When it dawned on me I began to laugh. With my head thrown back I stood there twirling and I laughed with a heart full of joy at the stars. They twinkled merrily.
Stars love to have a good belly laugh.
(That is how planets are born, my dear one.)
I have, for years now, chosen to sleep beneath the stars. Because I live where it is cold or pissing rain eighty per cent of the year, often my stars are the fake plastic glowing ones stuck to my ceiling with tack.
No matter. The small pin pricks of light are eerily similar to their real living mentors. The mimicked glow stirs something in my heart. Whispered memories of the peace and the joy that stars call out of my soul fill my ears.
After throwing back my head and laughing with the stars, I crept inside to my teeny tiny room. Getting undressed in an unfamiliar house is always a little nerve racking for me. I feel vulnerable, a little scared.
Eight years old again
As I wrapped myself up in my familiar little bed, and curled around my familiar dog, I found myself grinning at an unfamiliar ceiling because of one tiny familiar little star.
You see, when I was packing up the room that has sheltered me for the last two years of my life, one little star was left behind on my duvet cover. Before I left, I went to gather my purse and there was the pointy green plastic star. I felt badly that she had been separated from her constellational family network, but I wasn't about to search through my car to find them. So she came to live in my purse.
After hitching a ride to my new temporary home, she also became the first to be welcomed to my tiny new bedroom. I promptly forgot in the stressful following hours that she had made her way to me at ail.
Until much later, when our grinning face found one another...
...and we threw back our heads and laughed.
